Guest: Helping a friend through a divorce during the holidays

Heather Quick
Ponte Vedra Beach, Florida

Women have so much more to offer than they give themselves credit for, and it is time we lift one another up and call attention to all our wonderful achievements.

Thanksgiving, Christmas and New Years are stressful enough. I hope that if you have a friend of family member facing a divorce during the holidays, these simple suggestions may give you ideas you can use when you want to be supportive.

1. Make them laugh. Divorce is like all other major life transitions. It often causes stress, anxiety, anger and sadness. The best thing you can do this holiday season is help your loved one laugh, even if it is childish and silly humor, it will make a positive difference. If you are not a joke teller, just send funny emoji’s, memes, or a bitmoji text. I guarantee it will produce a smile, and that can change their energy and brighten their day.
2. Be social. Divorce is a lonely time that is heightened during the holidays, especially when there are weekly and daily parties. Offer to go to a party or girl’s night out, be the one to remind them they are not a piranha to be avoided. Many women going through a divorce feel like an outcast around their friends and social groups, so bridge that gap for her.
3. Exercise. Physical exercise releases endorphins, which trigger a positive feeling in your body, so you feel better. Try a new group type fitness class, so you aren’t alone. It is fun to go try something new and get a workout in as well. You get bonus points if you pick an activity that combines the first two, like dance trance, aerial yoga or pole dancing. I have learned from personal experience that trying activities outside your comfort zone provides a good workout and lots of laughter.
4. Listen. This one can be challenging, because your best friend may be pouring out her heart to you repeatedly, which is exhausting for you. However, we all need someone to listen to us when we are going through a difficult time. Note, just listen, do not offer solutions or advice. When she wants your advice, she will ask. Right now, she needs you to just listen, be empathetic and supportive.
5. Be positive. If you are naturally an Eeyore type of person, you may have to practice this or just stick with 1-4, because she will know you are not being authentic. For a glass-half-full type person, this is easy because it is in your nature, so just keep up your natural personality. Continue to provide her your positive energy and outlook because it can have a lasting effect and maybe help them see good in their difficult situation. In my experience, the most difficult times in my life fully prepared me to appreciate the best times.

Heather Brooke Quick is the founder of Florida Women’s Law Group located in Jacksonville, Florida. She serves as CEO of the only divorce and family law firm for women in Northeast Florida. Her vision for Florida Women’s Law Group began with a passion for changing the way women in Florida undergo divorce. By offering family and marital law services specifically for women, Florida Women’s Law Group works in a consistent and reliable way to advocate for women in the divorce process. The firm educates and empowers women on their rights and the law, so they can find the strength to endure the process and end up better financially and emotionally.