Monday is Valentines Day

My wife and I have a deal. It seems to be working so I don’t want to jinx it, but, maybe somebody else has run into this before – or – they can avoid problems in the future.

I stay out of the doghouse by following a few well defined rules. I don’t like sleeping on the porch, so, it’s no BFD to me. I do my assigned chores and handle the things the “husband” is supposed to handle; like shooing away the Jehovah’s Witness at the door, killing the cockroach in the garage and taking out the trash cans on trash day.

Another small thing I do, and have over the past three or four years, is bringing home a dozen wrapped roses every week. My wife likes the fragrance, she gets to take one or two to work with her and she still has a nice arrangement when she gets home.

Before Winnie and Bill Cross sold it, I faithfully visited Sally’s Roses every Thursday or Friday on the way to the house. Sally’s was the store on US-1 at Arapaho in the shopping center with Adam and Eve … but, I’ve never gone in there.

For $7 or $8 a week, I’d buy a dozen, fresh long-stem roses, including a pack of fertilizer that would get me 7 or 8 days of really nice flowers. The girls were always helpful, and jealous of my wife. On weeks where their supply was low, they could always find some shade of pink that would do — and even gave me a dozen reds (which are more expensive) one week when they were sold-out of their regular stock.

So, here’s the rub.

As soon as the new owner takes over — the world apparently changes. In a conversation with him while my clerk was wrapping my order, I learn that supposedly, he owned a chain of flower shops on the west coast, but, for whatever reason, decided he had to move to Florida (lucky us).

For another reason, that I don’t recall, I remember something about him buying his house and business, sight unseen, because he was traveling here by car. Although I can’t quote the details, I can tell you that I remember that it was bizarre.

So when the wrapping is complete, the clerk tells me, “Mr. Gold, we’ve had to go up on our prices for roses — they’re $12.95 now.” Wow, I thought. Maybe this should become an “every-OTHER-week” thing? I paid for the flowers and left — scratching my head over the near 50% price increase for the same roses. Roses aren’t a petroleum product, are they?

Then, about a week later, I stop by for another fill-up. Low and behold there is a new brand of roses in the shop. Not as many colors to choose from, but they come wrapped in cellophane, not cardboard, so they should be “better”, right? We’ll see.

No kidding, three days later, what used to be nice, pink petals on my fresh wrapped roses; had become saggy, burnt looking leftovers. Very disappointing. It reminded me of a kid in High School that wanted to impress a girl; so he went to the cemetery and robbed flowers from the funeral arrangements figuring the date would be over long before the bloom has faded. Isn’t that terrible?

The next time I went to see the new owner, I remarked about the last bunch of “droopers” but he made no offer to adjust them, so, I let it slide; making a mental note for the Rolodex. I figured I’d give him one more chance, but he only had ten roses left. Sally’s never ran out of roses, I wondered what this guy’s problem was. But, that wasn’t the worst of it. I was resolved to the fact that my wife was only getting 10 roses this week when the clerk told me, “If you buy less than a dozen you have to pay the per-stem price”. I flipped. “You are going to charge me more money for fewer flowers and the reason is because you don’t have enough stock to sell me the dozen I want to buy?”

Needless to say, I’ve about written this place off by now. When those ten roses made the trash can just three days later, despite the higher cost and fancy cellophane wrap, I was on my last nerve. I returned to the store one last time on Monday, February 7th.

I was surprised to see three different shades of pink roses in the front cooler, for a change, and I remember thinking that maybe they had outgrown their problems. Too much to expect, I guess. The clerk pulled the dozen roses for me, but, when we walked to the cash-wrap, she mumbled something about the prices going up. I barked out, “AGAIN?” and she turned to the other lady working for guidance.

The explanation was that since it was “Valentine’s Day” (which was still seven days away — three days longer than the roses would have lived had I bought them) they had to “adjust” their price. Dazed, for some unknown reason, perhaps like a deer caught in the high beam of a car’s headlights, I was able to get out, “How much?”

“$34.95 for a dozen,” she replied. “But that includes filler and green!” Hell, for $34.95 it should include a Wedgewood vase.

So, husbands, I’ve done a little shopping. Believe it or not, the best place for wrapped roses is not in the local flower shop, it’s in the grocery store. According to the grocery manager, their vendor keeps the display filled with fresh roses twice a week, so, they are always perky and fragrant. Their price is $11.95 a dozen, too, but they often have them on sale for $9.95 and they include a pack of fertilizer with every dozen. I was told that the store guarantees the quality of the roses and if I ever have an experience like I did at the florist, just to ask for him and he would replace the flowers or give me my money back.

Imagine that. A florist in the grocery store?